Check in on the Shrek fan in your life because the iconic ogre’s charming home is now open for stays on Airbnb, although you won’t find an onion carriage included.

I must confess: Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

That VCR was my childhood babysitter, and for ages, I’ve dreamed about living in a tree trunk turned cozy home.

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Though it might not be as luxurious as Lord Farquaad’s castle penthouse, it still seemed like an adventure worth trying.

Thankfully, our endearing yet exasperating talking donkey, Donkey, will be the host of Shrek’s Swamp for a limited Halloween stint via Airbnb.

(Image source: Airbnb)

Guests staying at Shrek’s Swamp can anticipate a “charming and cozy refuge,” free from the chaos of angry villagers and evicted fairytale beings.

(Image source: Airbnb)

(Image source: Airbnb)

The listing describes it as “a mud-laden, moss-covered, murky-watered oasis” that offers an ideal escape from village life and a chance to embrace nature’s beauty.

During their fairytale stay, guests can relax with a delicious parfait (who doesn’t love a parfait?), share tales by the fire, and enjoy a stack of Donkey’s famously fresh waffles in the morning.

The Swamp’s listing mentions that bathroom facilities, including a toilet, sink, and shower, are about 20 meters from the rental. Get Shreked, if you ask me.

Even without the threat of “torches and pitchforks,” I think that would enhance the experience. I’d also love two performances — one by the Fairy Godmother singing “Holding Out For A Hero” and another by Monsieur Hood with the Merry Men.

Robin Hood Thats Bad GIFfrom Robin Hood GIFs

Unfortunately for Brogers (a nickname for Shrek’s Biggest Fans, according to the vacation rental company) residing Down Under, the Swamp is “nestled in the hills of the Scottish Highlands.”

If you’re up for spending some cash on this faraway adventure, bookings for Shrek’s Swamp open October 14 at 4am Australia Eastern Daylight Time. Aspiring ogres can reserve the rental for a maximum of two nights.

And the best part? The swamp costs zero bucks a night! What a deal.

Shrek’s outhouse for your ogre-sized shits (Image source: Airbnb)

Since the quirky Airbnb listing was announced, many have joked about the idea of staying there.

However, one X (formerly known as Twitter) user offered an intriguing take on the unique rental.

After the popular culture news account Pop Crave called the listing a “luxury getaway,” Sarah Hagi (@KindaHagi) argued that describing it as “luxury” was “insulting to [Shrek’s] struggle.”

While I suspect the Xer post was satirical, it certainly casts a new light on the Airbnb rental.

Honestly, those musty floors do resemble properties featured on Shitty Rentals by Purple Pingers.

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Yet, I remain fascinated by this entire concept. From the dirt floors to the “BEWARE OGRE” signs, my inner child is thrilled.

And let’s not forget, you can enjoy the swamp for the incredible price of zero bucks a night. With waffles and a parfait included!!!

Image Source: Airbnb